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No one is an "amazing" friend ALL the time.
You sound judgmental to me. Some of those folks with messy lives that you write off immediately, be the kindest, most generous folks alive but you already have made a judgment. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Friendships ebb and flow. If they need space, give them space. If you are a good friend, you won't resent them for that.
Maybe you ought to take it in and think on it a little harder. Thank her for the feedback even if you didn't like it or agree with it. We all have faults. You sound like you find the fault and dismiss the person. That's a shame.
Try talking to a therapist about this. It could be far more helpful than an online discussion forum. And for the record, I have found that oftentimes, the higher the IQ the worse the human relation skills.