- I am 45
- What is my sex:
- Zodiac sign:
- Figure features:
- My figure features is athletic
- What I like to drink:
- What I prefer to listen:
Although kinks and fetishes are becoming more mainstream, they can still feel taboo.
I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago.
My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. What appeals to me the most is the intense cerebral connection — the mind play and the feelings it conjures in me, sometimes all day long the brain is, after all, the biggest sex organ.
The words, the orders, the reprimands, the tone and the downright audacity for him to say it all: Never would I allow anyone else to speak to me in this way, or, over all, to have such deep access into my mind, body and heart. And I hear myself responding in ways that similarly shock me — from mouthy and totally improper to meek and pleasing or with no air in my lungs at all.
Looking for % submissive freak
All the while I feel with my mind, heart and full body, the anticipation, the fear, the exposure, my power, his control and protection, desire and love. I have many different aspects to my personality. Poking at my Dom, testing him, trying to break his rules and, in some ways, undermine his masculinity, brings me great pleasure.
It could even involve humiliation and standing in the corner like a berated. Why do you sometimes crave tomatoes on rye bread while I feel like grilled cheese on white? Why does it even matter if we both enjoy a good meal and are both satisfied and unharmed in the end?
Looking back, all I can say is that the mundaneness of raising three kids within a stable, predictable, domestic life and marriage squashed my interest in sex beyond the requisites. Only when I became single again at age 37 did I realize how much my sexual desire rouses when my mind and imagination are consistently engaged and challenged.
And this is how i fucked up my sex life.
Sex is more like an extension of that journey, a vehicle if you will, that allows you to excavate, ask, dare, receive, give and explore things about yourself, and slightly beyond yourself, that you never knew existed. The power and intensity and connection to one another almost feels cosmic. In the real world I am a professional, a mom, capable, creative and self-reliant.
I long to be mastered and taken and led by one amazing man I love. But not just any many can call himself a Dom and own me.
There is a ferocious tiger that guards the gates to that sacred part of me. Or, the dynamic may involve much stricter rules and numerous tasks that entrust him with more control of her mind, body and behaviors.
Sometimes her boundaries get gently pressed, too. And if one pillar is missing or one starts crumbling, the relationship becomes stunted and may even collapse. from Delaine at DelaineMoore.
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