TonyaWrite a message
- What is my age:
- I am 44
- Tint of my eyes:
- I’ve got clear gray-green eyes but I use colored contact lenses
- Hair color:
- Dark-haired hair
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- My favourite music:
- Hip hop
- Body piercings:
- I don't have piercings
From wands and bullets to clitoral suction devices and rabbits, here you'll find plenty of toys to make as pleasurable as possible. We hope you love the products we recommend!
Plus, past research has found people who use sex toys also have better sexual functioning i. Considering that the majority of women cannot orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone and can reach climax way more reliably with the use of a sex toy, we can see where the worry comes from.
According to some sex therapiststhe fear of being replaced by vibrators and dildos is apparently a common concern among their male clientele. To get a better sense of how couples are choosing to incorporate sex toys into their relationships, I tapped dating app OkCupid to ask how their users feel about the use of sex toys during partnered sex in general. Using sex toys with my partner has been amazing!
There are so many options out there from vibrators to cock rings to other fun toys like handcuffs and feathers. I first tried it early in my relationship with my current boyfriend.
Sex irl: we talked to 11 people who love using sex toys with their partners
This soon turned into incorporating toys during sex. Plus, I like that they alleviate the pressure off my partner to get me to orgasm. Depending on the position and the toy, they can be a little difficult to incorporate during sex. My favorite are cock rings that have a vibrating piece for the clit. The resulting orgasm is incredible. It has been absolutely sensational.
If he is on top, I will use the vibrator on my clit, but if we are in doggy style, he will hold [on to] it. I can help him experience a different kind of orgasm, and he can tease me and make me cum more. I was already masturbating solo with vibrators for clitoral stimulation on a regular basis when I began dating a man who wanted to watch me masturbate to orgasm from across the room. It was absolutely his idea, and once I quickly got over my nervousness, I found I was able to reach [climax] almost as quickly as I could when I was playing [by myself].
Doggy style is a great position for this; so is spooning.
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It feels incredible and provides a great visual as well. We have a growing collection of sex toys, and even have our own names for them in Spanish we speak Spanish together. He loves that. Before we started using sex toys, we already had very honest and good communication as a couple.
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Using sex toys is not an easy thing to do; it takes trust and openness to be able to tell your partner what you want and have them be open to trying it. We also both dealt with the guilt of sexual exploration from growing up in a Western culture; anal is not socially acceptable.
Using sex toys [during sex] can also be challenging, in a good way. Now we use sex toys in just about every position, but initially, I was afraid to even tell him that I wanted him [to] penetrate me anally and vaginally at the same time, [while] stimulating my clitoris with a vibrator. FYI, we did it. It was amazing, and we can do it again at any time. More recently, he wanted to sit on top of me while I pegged him wearing the harness with La Cosa Violetta.
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In both cases, we were a little afraid of the thing we wanted to try, and we needed the other person to be supportive [during those] vulnerable moments. For us, using sex toys during sex is about pleasure and connection: I want to please my partner, he wants to please me, and we want to feel deeply connected to [one another].
If you have a vagina, you can only imagine the pleasure you can get from having anal and vaginal sex at the same time, while having clitoral stimulation with a vibrator. I was the first girl who ever pegged him, and this equality is a central part of our experience.
Honestly, other couples might not be able to [do] this with sex toys if the male partner is not open to pegging. The experience of using sex toys as a whole has really [been] enjoyable. The first time I tried doing this was with my girlfriend in my mid-twenties. It was a mutual decision, so the initial response was very good.
I can only orgasm by myself or with the help of a vibrator. All of my partners have reacted positively with me bringing a sex toy into the mix. They just get it. Using toys for me is just a way to spice things up.
Home (not) alone
Incorporating sex toys into our sex life has been a very gainful experience. From my perspective, it has enhanced our sex life dramatically. We started experimenting with sex toys soon after we got married. We were both very receptive to the idea of experimenting with sex toys and our main reason for doing so was to prevent our post-marriage sex life from becoming stale, which is something we hear [that happens] all too often, especially in long-distance relationships. For clarity, the Sona is a sonic vibrator that delivers sonic pulses that target the clitoris specifically.
This toy is one we regularly incorporate into our bedroom routine typically during foreplay, but also during sex. If my husband reaches climax before I do, he normally reaches for a clitoral vibrator and brings me to climax, without fail. However, it took quite a lot of convincing to make him open up to the idea. The main reason we began using sex toys during sex all started on our honeymoon. I had expressed to Angela that a concern I had was that our sex life would become predictable now that we were married and that this was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
Countless friends of mine complain about the lack of satisfaction in their sex lives at home post-marriage, and this was not something I wanted to experience firsthand. There are thousands of jokes about how blow jobs end after marriage, which shows this idea has some basis in the real world. I love my wife more than anything in this world and the thought of her being unsatisfied either emotionally or physically was something I wanted to prevent at all costs.
I wanted to ensure she was thoroughly satisfied throughout our marriage. Of course, I also got to [partake] in her pleasure as I often have a better time when my partner is [enjoying herself] in the bedroom.
Selfish yet selfless, in a way. Typically, when we use various sex toys during sex, we opt for clitoral vibrators since this is something that my wife really enjoys. My personal favorite is the Lovense Edge. However, they are not something I opt for regularly.
Ultimately, I think I am much more well-rounded after experiencing what sex toys have to offer. My first experience with a sex toy was also my first experience using a sex toy with a partner. We took turns using the vibrator on each other, alternating with the real penis [that was] attached to the boyfriend—[they both] seemed quite experienced with the device, and I followed suit. It would be over a decade later before another sex toy appeared during partnered sex; this time [it was] a Magic Wand belonging to my then-boyfriend, [which was] always plugged in beside his bed.
He was a well-endowed man and one night while I was struggling with anal sex, I impulsively reached down and placed the device under my belly with the head on my clit as he entered me from behind. Five years ago, I struggled with a partner whose general anxiety lead him to spontaneously lose his erection in the middle of intercourse, often when I was super stimulated and not keen on stopping. It happened again while at my place and rather than giving up, he asked for my toys, took the dildo from my hands and stuck it in my mouth like it was his cock.
He proceeded to penetrate me while I used a second toy for outer stimulation; the dildo became his disembodied penis, and he wielded it as if it was his own.
It was this encounter that later inspired me to confidently pull out my toys and begin masturbating should any other partner suffer the same misfortune. Using toys with an S. As a fat woman, society expects [me] to be [a] sexless sack of laziness with no desire or sex drive, and nothing could be further from the truth.
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We love exploring different toys that work for both of us and bring both of us pleasure. He loved the idea of making our sexual encounters last longer by using sex toys as well as making things more exciting. For me, the appeal is the playing process.
Using sex toys with a partner is just something that adds a little extra element of fun.
There are so many fun, well-deed toys out there for couples now. Part of it is just pure fun.
Like, why not? So, I guess the appeal [of sex toys] is twofold: [You get to try] new things and [they] make orgasms better. Sex IRL: We talked to 11 people who love using sex toys with their partners. Kelly Gonsalves Updated May 18, pm.